From Sole to Somm

My Self-Discovery Journey

 A Foreword

Ever wonder what happens when you mix 40 years of shoe-selling with a dash of wine enthusiasm? Well, that’s pretty much my story in a nutshell. After four decades in the footwear biz, I decided it was high time to share my journey and maybe help a few folks along the way.

You see, retail isn’t just about pushing products—it’s a people business through and through. The best companies out there? They’re all about making customers happy. Sounds simple, right? But you’d be surprised how many talk the talk without walking the walk.

Now, I majored in Psychology back in college, so diving into the human side of things was right up my alley. Throughout my career, I’ve always gotten a kick out of helping people reach their goals. But it wasn’t until I landed at Nordstrom that I really got how important this was. That place? It was like a crash course in both retail management and being a better human.

This book? It’s all about the rollercoaster ride—the ups, the downs, the loop-de-loops—of my retail life and beyond. But before we dive into all that, I want to use this foreword and the first chapter to talk about what I call “The Awakening” in my journey.

Here’s a question for you: Have you ever stopped and asked yourself, “Who am I, really?” It took me 64 years, but I finally figured out that I’m way more than just the jobs I’ve had or the fancy titles on my business cards.

While I’ve been writing about wine for the last year and a half, I thought it’d be fun to take a step back and share how I got here in the first place. I started off blogging my “Soleman” adventures, but then I thought, “Why not write this like a book?” Who knows? Maybe I’ll publish it, or maybe it’ll just be a cool legacy piece for my kids.

So, buckle up! We’re about to explore my journey of self-discovery and how I’ve come to understand what personal growth really means. We’ll cruise through different phases of my life, and at each stop, I’ll try to answer that big question: Who am I, or who have I become?

The Illusion of Titles

For years, I clung to my identity as a manager and sr. director, believing my worth was tied to my professional success. It was a comfortable label, but it limited my perception of who I could be.

What I didn’t realize then was that the most energizing aspect of those roles was coaching and mentoring. Seeing a team member get promoted felt like watching your own child succeed. It was even more rewarding when they became my peers. Helping someone level up, whether it was a salesperson boosting their performance or an employee moving into management, was incredibly fulfilling. Nothing beats hearing, “You’ve made a difference in my life.”

Embracing Change

Life’s curveballs have taught me that change is inevitable, and embracing it is crucial. At Zappos, one of our core values was to “Embrace and drive change. For 19 years, I lived and breathed that principle. I’ve learned to adapt and grow, shedding old identities that no longer serve me.

Leaving Zappos forced me to confront the question, “Who am I?” Even after two years, I’m still grappling with the answer. But I know who I’m not. My old title doesn’t define me as a person or an employee of any company. My strengths in those positions were in developing people. You could put a title to that, I suppose, but I choose not to.

Eye-Opening Realities

After over 40 years in the footwear industry, you’d think finding a similar job would be a breeze. But the truth is, I really didn’t want to relocate  for a job. I had some promising leads, but they all required relocating. It’s funny how everyone seems like a friend when you’re the one signing orders that pay their commissions. I keep in touch with many friends from my career, but often, the phone doesn’t ring as much as it used to.

At first, I thought it was ageism—and it still might be. I had a decent salary and years of experience, so I often wondered why someone with less experience would land a job over me. Was it money? Did they think that since I’m in my 60s, I’d retire soon? Or maybe they worried I’d accept a position and then jump ship for something better.

Clearly, they didn’t know me. I came to realize that times have changed. My skill set was perfect for my old job, but the landscape is different now. I’m okay with that; I cherish the good times and incredible experiences I’ve had along the way. I’ve traveled the world and made countless memories. So many good times to look back on!

Uncorking My True Identity

I’ve come to realize that our true identity isn’t found in job titles, but in our passions, values, and relationships. As I loosened my grip on rigid definitions, I discovered joy in exploring new interests and deepening connections with loved ones. My new adventure? Wine. And no, I didn’t just decide to sit around drinking all day… well, maybe a little.

I dove into learning about wine and food pairings, even taking a course to become a certified sommelier. Sure, I had to do quite a few wine tastings to tell my Merlots from my Malbecs, so I guess you could say I did some daytime sipping. But don’t get me wrong, this isn’t my new “title.” I proudly pinned on my Sommelier badge in April 2024. Next up? I’m eyeing a course on the stock market. After all, a mind is a terrible thing to waste, and I love challenging myself with new learning adventures.

Since 2019, I’ve been penning my life as a “shoe dog” in retail. I’ve taken all those lessons learned as a young adult and woven them into a successful career story. But why stop there? I wanted to blend in my newfound passion for wine, and voila – Vino-Rater was born. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not looking to work in a restaurant or dive into selling or procuring wine. I checked it out, sure, but decided it wasn’t my glass of wine.

I chose the National Wine School for my sommelier certification. It was perfect – allowing me to get certified without diving into the service side that restaurant sommeliers need to master. My goal? To write blogs, reviews, and create wine pairings. Along the way, I’ve found myself coaching and mentoring folks in the world of wine. Am I a Sommelier? Well, I’ve got a shiny pin and a certificate that says so, but again, it’s not what defines me. It’s just another exciting chapter in my ongoing story.

Embracing a Relaxed Lifestyle

Lately, I’ve been enjoying a wonderfully relaxing lifestyle. I wake up early, head to the backyard, and savor my two cups of coffee while tossing the ball around for my energetic Mini Poodle, Teddy. He brings a smile to my face every single day. I’ve also grown closer to the people who truly matter in my life, and as for everyone else? Well, I’ll get to them when I can. My stress levels have never been better.

I’ve taken this time to focus on my health and overall lifestyle. I’m more conscious of my well-being than ever before. After my morning routine, I clean the pool, trim the garden, and dive into writing—whether it’s for my book or crafting reviews on wine and food pairings. Plus, I’m helping my wife, Linda, with her interior design business. She has an incredible talent that deserves all the support.

As for whether I’ll land another job? Maybe someday, but it would have to ignite a real passion in me. For now, I’m content embracing this new chapter of life.

Keeping Wine Simple and Approachable

You know, some folks in the wine world have a bit of a reputation for being, well, snooty. I joined this Facebook wine group, and there was this one person who kept going on and on about how much they “hated” it when people talked about wine without really knowing their stuff. I couldn’t help but chime in, saying, “Hey, it’s our job as sommeliers to educate people about wine.”

Well, you’d think I’d insulted their grandmother or something! The criticism came pouring in. But you know what? I still stand by what I said. I ended up quitting that group that very day. Later, I had a bit of an “aha” moment and came up with my new tagline: “Wine can be complex but shouldn’t be complicated.” That’s what it’s all about, right?

When I write my reviews, I always aim to help people, not just stroke my own ego. I mean, do we really need to be talking about barnyard smells or cat pee when we’re describing wine? Not in my book! I say keep it simple. After all, wine is meant to be enjoyed, not feared or overcomplicated. Let’s leave the pretentiousness at the door and focus on what really matters – appreciating good wine and helping others do the same.

Embracing the Journey of Self-Discovery

You know, life’s a funny thing. We spend so much time chasing titles and roles, but at the end of the day, the real question is, “Who am I?” It’s not about the job you had or the position you held. It’s about the person you’ve become along the way.

I’ll be honest, I resisted therapy for the longest time. I was stuck in this loop of “what they did to me.” But then I met this amazing therapist named Jennifer. She flipped the script on me. Instead of dwelling on the negative, she asked, “What did they do for you?” And you know what? It was eye-opening.

Looking back, I had an incredible career. So many great memories, so many experiences that shaped me. I’m living a good life because of it all. Now, I can put that behind me and look forward to whatever the future might bring.

There’s this quote by Maya Angelou that really resonates with me: “I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.” Man, that hits home. I’m still figuring it all out, but I’m not letting my past define me.

Life’s a journey, right? And let me tell you, a good therapist can work wonders. They help you see things from a different angle, appreciate the good stuff, and move forward. It’s not always easy, but it’s worth it.

So, here’s my advice: Reflect on your own journey. Ask yourself the tough questions. Embrace the evolution of your identity. There’s so much richness to life beyond the titles we hold. And if you’re struggling? Don’t be afraid to reach out for help. A good therapist can be a game-changer.

This book is my journey, from a wide-eyed young man in his twenties, to where I’m at today. I share my experiences in an easy-to-read layout. I will share my family history, some early mentoring from my father and how it shaped me throughout the years.

Remember, we’re all works in progress. The key is to keep growing, keep learning, and keep embracing the journey. Who knows what amazing things are just around the corner?

Let’s get this journey started, shall we?

This Book is dedicated to my kids Jennifer & James, Michael my grandson and his father Jon and my beautiful wife Linda who always believes in me, I love you all deeply…